Robert Eagan tells “dad jokes.” He likes to put a smile on people’s faces. Or maybe it’s a groan:
Where do pirates get their hooks?
At the second-hand store.
What is a frog’s favorite kind of footwear?
Open-toad sandals.
The puns come thick and fast when Robert sells Street Roots. He’s been a Street Roots vendor, off and on, for about 13 years.
“Even if they don’t buy a paper,” he said, “they walk away with a smile on their face.”
Robert stays positive, but his life hasn’t been on a smooth trajectory. Just recently, his best friend died. The friend was in a wheelchair, and for more than a year, Robert took care of him — cooking, cleaning and helping with grocery shopping.
“He said if it weren’t for me there being with him,” Robert said, “he would have been gone a long time ago. And if it wasn’t for him letting me stay at his place, and sleeping on the floor and stuff, I would not have been in a good spot.
“We both were blessings to each other.”
During the summer, Robert had a job packing and shipping souvenir orders at Smith-Western. But that’s over now. So Robert is couch surfing and looking for work again. He’s applied to the Amazon warehouse in Troutdale, or he might do restaurant work. “With the COVID,” he said, “it’s been a difficult period of time.”
He’s hoping to find a room of his own. Nothing big, just something to keep him clean, safe and healthy while he looks for work.
“There’s a few rooms out there, but my problem is with my past financial irresponsibility history and poor rental history,” he said. His parents have helped him from time to time, but now they’re facing medical bills. “What I need is someone to co-sign for me and possibly put up some money to actually get me into a place, and then once I start working, I can start paying on my own.”
Once he’s stable again, Robert wants to get back to his hobby of painting metal and plastic fantasy figurines — 2- to 4-inch-high characters from role-playing games like Dungeons and Dragons, Forgotten Realms and Ring of Fire. “I like to see what I can create,” he said. He loves fantasy. He’s reading the “Game of Thrones” series. His favorite movies of all times are “Star Wars” and “Lord of the Rings.”
He also loves his church, Unity of Portland, a non-denominational congregation. “It gives me a sense of inclusiveness, a sense of fellowship and community, a sense of peace,” he said.
Being between jobs and between homes like he is, Robert is grateful for the income from Street Roots. “I appreciate the Street Roots customer base giving us all an opportunity. I’m very grateful not just for my personal customer base, but all the customers that buy Street Roots from whoever they buy it from. Without customers buying papers, we would not have vendors.”
Robert sells Street Roots at Market of Choice on Southeast 11th Avenue and Belmont Street and at Grand Central Bakery on Northeast 45th Avenue and Fremont Street.
Stop by and ask Robert to tell you a joke. It won’t be just one.
